Christmas…

That time of year when we gather, often with people we haven’t seen in a year or more.  That time when so much joy can be experienced.  So much good can happen. And so much CHAOS! Running from gathering to gathering, finishing up shopping and work before the end of the year, all the prep

And then there is Ellen Griswold’s take…

Christmas can, unfortunately, be argumentative and petty.  When discussing with Clark about whether to have the whole family over, Ellen says, “Yeah …  And (Christmas is) About My Mother Accusing Your Mother Of Buying Cheap Hot Dogs. And Your Mother Accusing My Mother Of Waxing Her Upper Lip.” Later in the movie, when the family all shows up and her daughter Audrey is being dramatic, she replies, ” I don’t know what to say, except it’s Christmas and we’re all in misery.”

Here’s my gift to you-

8 ways to survive (and even thrive) at Christmas.  Follow these and you at least have a shot!

1. Know what hill you are willing to die on.  And don’t try to die on the others!  If Uncle Al wants to be right about something that is inconsequential, LET HIM! If he wants to brag about his high school glory days, let it be. It isn’t that important.  But if Uncle Al is being blatantly disrespectful and sputtering harmful untruths, may be time to intervene.

2. No politics.  Tread very carefully here.  The election was recent. People have strong feelings. Like the Beatles said, LET IT BE!

3. Avoid situations and conversations with no upside.  If the only way a conversation goes is south, exit the conversation.  Make it clear you don’t want to talk about that.  This, incidentally, is great parenting advice as well.  Tell your kids to avoid situations with no upside.  They remember it!

4. WINtheNOW. Show up to your gatherings fully present. All your worries and projects will be there when you get back. But don’t miss the moments right in front of you. They are fleeting. Don’t miss out.

5. Be grateful going in.  Spend some time in gratitude before you show up or before others show up at your place.  Even on the drive or flight over. Think of as many things as you can that you are thankful for. This reframes your mind and puts you in a better headspace.

6. Don’t poke the bear.  You know other people’s triggers.  Don’t go there.  Why make a situation worse?  Again… the Beatles… Let it be!

7. Keep calm and control what you can.  Don’t allow yourself to accelerate when someone else is getting fired up.  Don’t take the bait!  And control what you can going in- specifically your attitude, your habits, your rest, your temper.  And make sure you are in a good place personally before you go.  For lots of tips on how to be ready, grab a copy of That Dam Analogy.  You still have time if you grab the electronic version.  And grab one as a Christmas gift!

8. Be really curious!  Ask good questions.  Ask someone else what they like to talk about.  Be a good listener.  Try to learn something new about as many people as possible.  You will make a HUGE impact if you get curious.

So there you have it!

Christmas can be an amazing time.  And if you lean into these 8 strategies, you just might find it is the most wonderful time of the year!

If you need a little help with the chaos in your life and want to be set up for your best year yet in 2025, let’s talk.  There is hope!