Lying on the floor…

In the server room.  In the basement of my dental office.  After the server had crashed.  Seriously?  Of all the times it could crash, why did it choose now? I was thirty minutes behind.  And I had five hygienists waiting for me to check their patients so they could stay on time.  Did I mention I was also the IT guy for the practice?  And I couldn’t move as tears streamed down my face.  I was paralyzed. And not a single other human knew about it.

I had hit a serious bottom…

And I thought to myself… is this as good as life gets?  Is this really my reality?  Is there any way forward, or is this just how it is going to be?  Because I don’t want any part of this.  Not now.  Not ever again.  How can I escape this?  And in the moment there were no answers.  Why?  Because there was no time. And I was all by myself.  Because I chose to keep it inside.

I had one immediate choice…

Get back up.  Get back in the game.  Why?  Because I had to.  I had twenty people on my team depending on me.  I had patients also depending on me who had their own life, their own schedule, and their own stuff.  But this time was different and I recognized it.  This one couldn’t be ignored and pushed under the rug.  And I was going to need a whole lot of help moving forward.  There was no way I could do this myself.

I made a pact with myself…

I would do everything I could to make sure I never got to this place again.  Never.  There was no way I could stay here.  And there was no way I could go back. I was broken.  Shattered. I was a mess.

So how did I pick up the pieces?

I started by asking a few questions in the days and weeks that followed.  After the dust had settled.  After I got back on schedule and temporarily sucked it up and dealt with it.  That’s when I got to work.  Here is what I honestly asked myself-

1. Is this as good as life gets?
2. Do I want something more out of this life?
3. What do I really want ?
4. What do I need?
5. How do I get there from here?

And I realized this…

We get sone shot.  One shot my friends.  One shot at this life.  And I will be danged if my life is going to be reduced to this reality for ever.  If I go down, I am going down swinging.  Because I do not want to come to the end of my life and find that I squandered the one chance I had.  What we will regret the most at the end of our lives are the things we didn’t do.  The chances we didn’t take. The things we settled for.  Beliefs that this is as good as it gets.  I don’t know about you, but I am not interested in that life.  Not by a long shot.

And I got some help…

There is no way I could move forward and make it stick on my own.  No way.  And I knew it.  And I admitted it.  I now have a coach.  I have seen a therapist. My mentor and I meet every month. I have an amazing inner circle of five 2 AM friends.  Those things didn’t happen without intention.  And they didn’t happen accidentally.  But I drew a line in the sand and said this is it.  Then I went to work on moving forward.  The cost of staying paralyzed on the floor was just too high.

I had to move…

I had to drag myself up off the ground.  Truthfully, I  didn’t have a choice.  In the moment, I had to move. I could only suck it up for so long.  There was just way too much at stake.  I was on a crash course to becoming a statistic of yet another stress-related early death.  We can only stuff our stuff for so long.  We can only hide our struggles for so long. Because eventually it finds its way out.  And it usually affects those most important to us.  They take the brunt of it.  Because we kept it to ourselves and it found its way out.

At some point…

We either need to make a move or we will watch our health fail, our relationships fail, and the very fabric of who we are will erode.  The question is this- When is enough truly enough?  When will you say it is time and choose to move forward?  What will it take?  I was stuck.  I was on a collision course.  And I collided.  On the floor.  In the server room.  All by myself.  Because I never told anyone about my struggles. Please. Don’t let it go that far.

Here’s a little encouragement…

I love the band Switchfoot and if you haven’t heard their song. I Dare You To Move, check it out.  Then be ready.  Pick yourself up off the ground.  And commit to moving forward.  With help. Take that next step.  If you can’t figure out what the next step might be, reach out and let’s figure it out together.  There is a great big life out there.  And we have one shot at it. Let’s not miss it.  Let’s not get to the end with a pile of regrets.  Who’s with me?

And if you need a place to start…

Check out my 5 Principles Of #WINtheNOW.  These are proven strategies to help you live present in your own life.  Absolutely free.  Check them out and let me know which one(s) resonate for you!