Can I Be Brutally Honest With You?

May 20, 2023

How would you answer if you were asked what you see when you look in the mirror?

Do you see value?  Do you see worth?  Do you avoid looking in the mirror?

And what is that opinion formed as a result of?  Did someone tell you your value in your past?  Were you neglected, bullied, abused, cast aside in the past?  What has truly formed that opinion that you have when you see yourself in the mirror?

Here’s my latest…

This week I reached out to someone I respect tremendously.  We have been in relationship for awhile and we usually communicate by email.  I was wanting to ask for his cellphone number for an easier way to contact him, but there was a roadblock.  You see, this person has built quite a tribe.  He is nationally known.  I respect the heck out of him.  And I would consider us good friends.

I didn’t have the courage to ask for his cellphone number as I didn’t want to cross any boundaries.  I am learning that nothing is more important than our time and what we give it away to.  (Here’s a recent blog I wrote on the subject of time.  Check it out if you haven’t already read it!)

And I felt like I couldn’t cross that boundary.


I had to sit in that thought.  Why could I not ask a friend for his contact information?  After all, I readily give mine away when someone asks.  Why did I not think that I could make this simple request?  After all, what is the worst that could happen?

An answer of no?  Ok.  Then what?  We move on and keep in touch with email.

But I had to sit in that.

And I asked myself why again.  And here’s the honest part.  Sometimes I look in the mirror and question whether I am good enough.  I question whether I have what it takes to follow my dreams and be a speaker, coach, author, and content creator.  I look in the mirror and think this guy is not the guy.

I bet I am not the only one.

So what do we do with this?  How do we look in the mirror and like what we see?  How do we look in the mirror and choose a life that believes we have good days ahead?

We choose faith, hope, and belief over fear and doubt because we have a choice.  We get to choose the thoughts in our mind.  So we take the thoughts captive and ditch the ones that are on the fear and doubt side.

We make a list of things that are true about us.  If you need a list, you can borrow some from Zig Ziglar or Jon Acuff (New Anthem). They are called affirmations.  Google Zig Ziglar Affirmations and you will see what I am talking about!  And then we repeat these affirmations in front of the mirror until we believe them.  Every morning and every night.  Why?  Because we have a lifetime of not believing in ourselves and we need to right that ship.

You may need to find another mirror away from anyone else as you start because this can cause some self-consciousness.  Even for me!  But press on!  Give it time.  As in more than one time!

And then we make choices that show our value.  We spend time with people who make us feel good about ourselves and we choose to be that person for others.  We watch out for the negative influences we are looking at- news, social media, streaming shows, all of it. Garbage in, garbage out, right?

And we encourage the heck out of others because we all struggle with this from time to time.

Lastly- remember what God says about you- you are priceless in his sight.  You are worth dying for.  You are amazing.  There is only one you!  And the world needs your awesome!!!

So what did I do?  I took a step of faith and asked for his contact info.  I got a text the next day from and unknown number with a Dude- sorry I didn’t get this to you sooner!  Hit me up anytime.

Why?  Because I took a step of faith and believed. I believed in my value because I have been working on it.  I chose to be a good friend.  I chose to be a part of the good part of someone’s story.

I still struggle from time to time with self-value, especially after I receive a no.  But I know what my calling is.  I know my due north.  So I soldier on.  And I try to impact and bless others along the way.  Imperfectly.  Discombobulated even at times.  But I stay the course.  Because I know I am worth it.

And if I am, so are you!  I believe in you!  I hope you believe in you!

The world needs your awesome!  So be a little awkward.  Stand in front of that mirror and speak truth.  There is someone who is priceless looking back at you!

If self-worth is a struggle for you and you want to take steps in the right direction, check out my coaching page.  Let’s have a conversation!

And no matter which route you choose, let’s #WINtheNOW together!


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