A Fresh Perspective

Apr 8, 2023

When is the last time you got some bad news?  Do you remember?  Is it fresh in your mind like it happened yesterday (maybe it did)? Or has it been awhile?

Last week I got some disappointing news.

It left me deflated.  It caused me to pause.  It caused me to do one of the things I seem to be very good at- overthinking.  Am I the only one that struggles with overthinking?  I seem to have an inner-committee in my head that loves to torment me.  Especially when this world doesn’t turn out as I had hoped.

So I did what I do, and I suspect a lot of us do.  I grumbled. I moped around for a few hours.  I wasn’t myself.  Not even close.  Unfortunately, my wife has seen this all too often as I can get really selfish when I get bad news and, through my attitude, it becomes everyone else’s problem.

But here’s the thing…

This was actually disappointing news.

The reality is that this was kind of a big deal as I had been waiting to hear a yes or no for a couple of weeks.

And then, after a bit of moping and pouting, I picked up my phone and checked social media.

And I saw a Caring Bridge post.  My friend is fighting for her life in a hell of chemo and radiation.  She is suffering horrific side effects 24/7.  She would, I am sure, do anything to escape this current reality.

Meanwhile I am pouting because I don’t get to do something I had REALLY hoped to do.  Seriously.  Come on, Eric.

After a few moments of feeling shame, I was hit with a profound truth…

My disappointment still stinks, but not as bad as I had thought.

I think we can get frustrated with ourselves and heap shame on the one in the mirror when we are faced with a different perspective.

Her diagnosis and reality did not make my news sting less, but it helped me realize, once again, that we are all going through stuff.  And some people are going through really big stuff.

Sometimes our disappointments can overtake us…

And we become selfish and think the world is all about us and what happened to us.  The reality is that there is a really big world out there.  And everyone in that great big world is going through stuff.

What if instead of wallowing in the stuff that happens to us, we reach out to another to see what stuff they are going through and then we get through it together?

Social media will give the false impression that some are going through life with no problems, completely unscathed.  In reality, we all really know that social media is a polished lie.  Perfect pictures taken as many times as necessary until they are worthy to post.  Only posting the good stuff.

I have found that, without fail, when we ask those we are in relationship with how things are going, there is always something.

The stuff happening in your world is a big deal. The stuff going on in someone else’s world is also a big deal.  What if we tried to get through it together as we remembered we are #bettertogether.  What a great way to #WINtheNOW! We truly are all in this together!

Not sure about who your people are?  Check out this blog about my inner circle!


  1. Vicki Hetland

    So very true. Put it all in perspective. It makes me appreciate the blessings I have had.

    • Eric Recker

      And we are truly blessed!

  2. Karen Umble

    I can relate as it just happened last Saturday. I got the disappointing news that my oldest granddaughter doesn’t want to go to church anymore. Since they moved back to Iowa she told me she wanted me to help her find a church. So I have been tripping it up to Waukee about every Sunday since January. Instead of hearing from her I had to hear it through the grapevine which was so hurtful! Then on the other side of the coin my son in law’s 34 year old adopted sister was on her dyeing bed because of substance abuse and passed away last night. And like you, my hurt isn’t nearly as big as that. We all have things to deal with and it’s great if we have family and friends to lean on. If we don’t, we definitely have our Heavenly Father! Thanks for sharing this! Happy Easter to you and your family!

    • Eric Recker

      Wow Karen! You have been through so much! Thank you for sharing those tough events.


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