Have you ever wanted a chance to start over?
Have you ever wished that you could get a fresh start? Have you ever blown it and wished you could hit the rewind button and watch yourself move backwards to the point of anywhere before you blew it?
How about that moment of clarity where you see how you would do things differently?
Or am I the only one?
Here’s a scenario- and let me know if this sounds familiar.
I came home from work last Tuesday after a fantastic walk home. It was gorgeous outside and I walked briskly as I usually do. I had some music playing on shuffle and was enjoying the random selections that played.
I stepped in the door at home and started talking with the fabulous Amy Recker just like I often do as soon as I get home. Completely normal so far.
And then a switch flipped…
I didn’t see it coming. In retrospect I maybe should have. I have been facing a few personal challenges lately and, despite the great walk home and a reasonably good day at work, it all bubbled over.
I found myself in a rant and I kept going. Picture me on a soapbox or pedestal with a bullhorn spewing negativity. Ok…. that’s probably being a little dramatic. But I went on. For a few minutes. And I noticed that my tone and my rant was having an affect on my wife.
I was effectively sucking all of the joy out of the room and changing the temperature completely.
At this point I had a choice. I could keep going and drag both of us down together. Or I could call a do-over. So I paused briefly, gathered my thoughts, and asked Amy if I could have a do-over. I wish I could say this was the first time I had asked to start over. What was different this time is how clearly obvious it was that it needed to be done.
I felt it in my heart. I saw it in her eyes. There was much at stake.
I took the do-over.
I literally walked back out the door. I came back in and we started fresh. I didn’t ignore the concerns I had earlier. I just simply restated what was going on but instead chose not to go down the doom and gloom path with it.
And then we moved forward. To talk about her day. To talk about our plans for the rest of the week. To smile and laugh. All things that wouldn’t have been possible without a do-over.
Here’e my thought for you and all of us today…
Where in your life do you need a do-over?
(And a HUGE thank you to many comments from social media that helped with this blog?)
Maybe you are like Tara and use one when you get reactive with your co-workers (so glad to hear I am not the only one who can be reactive!) Maybe you are more like Kristy who was forced into a do-over with a massive unexpected change at work or Ella who chose a do-over with summer plans and it made all the difference.
Susan loves that she gets a do-over every year as a teacher! And Jil reminded us that we get a do-over every day because of God’s mercies that are new every morning (I sure love that one!). Or maybe, just maybe you are like Sue and overcame great challenges and got a do-over to a better life.
My challenge for you this week is to look for opportunities for a do-over- with a broken family or friend relationship. A do-over with one of your people. A chance to write a wrong.
What could happen…
If you leaned in and looked for a way to make someone’s life better or chose to repair a relationship. I am guessing the break could have been avoided in the first place with a humble, well-placed do-over.
What is at stake? We all know families that have effectively broken up over words that were said. Relationships that ended because a small wedge started and over time it grew. I am not saying this is easy, but I believe it is an important strategy to consider. It takes some swallowing of pride and humility. But wow… what could happen?
For the sake of everyone around you- be aware of you and the room. And if it isn’t quite right, is a do-over the right choice?
And then… get back to the present and #WINtheNOW!
If you want a little further reading, here is an older blog about pivoting and then moving forward. Have an amazing day!